"WE ARE CREATING A NEW TREND OF POPSTARS USING THE TOILET."

Luciana talks Supermal, Bodyrox, writing for Kylie and weeing on camera…

Luciana has been around for years, pushing her face up against the cold window of pop and wondering why no one is paying any attention to anything she has been doing.

When she had a Top Ten hit with her Bodyrox col­lab­or­a­tion 'Yeah Yeah' she was then allowed not only to get involved with the amazing new Supermal single but also to scoop together some of her other bits and bobs and put them together as a proper album.

She seemed quite pleased about these events when we spoke to her…

Questions: Peter Robinson
Answers: Luciana (obviously)

Hello Luciana.
Well hello Popjustice.

Here we are again – different record, different act 'featuring' you, same old Luciana… 
It's not because I'm difficult to work with!

In your new video you walk into an old man on the street and you don't say sorry. What sort of message is that sending to the youth of Britain?
Just be careful where you're going. I'm allowed to be rude because I am a singer.

Plus there is so much hair swishing that it looks like you have some sort of tic.
I was just showing off. Actually I have got a tic and I was worried about how many times I was flicking my hair around. There is an awful lot of hair flicking going on there.

Also in your new video, much like in the Roisin Murphy one, you are sat on the toilet and having either a piss or a shit. Is this a new trend for popular music?
Is she on the toilet as well? She's fabulous. I've so got to see that. I think we are creating a new trend of popstars using the toilet in public. Roisin and I have put the glamour into going to the toilet.

Were you actually having a piss or shit?
Before I sat down and had a wee I did ask – 'what is my motiv­a­tion?' and I went into the method acting and did it. Basically, the wee came out.

Talk the Popjustice reader through the lyrics of 'Bigger Than Big'.
It is about being on the dance­floor and meeting someone that you abso­lutely want and abso­lutely must have.

Does that happen often when you are out?
It happens all the time but I've got a boyfriend. Oh, I should say I'm single, shouldn't I? Yeah, I'm single.

This is a media training disaster!
I've never had any media training I'm afraid. I have actually def­in­itely got a boyfriend.

Apparently after 'Bigger Than Big' you are going to magically appear as a proper solo popstar in your own right. How is this going to work?
Well, we've got some of the Portobella stuff knocking around and we're going to use five of those songs on the album.

Is it too much to ask for a bit of 'Jellyhead' on it, from when you were in Crush?
A bit of 'Jellyhead'? You know I wasn't actually thinking of using 'Jellyhead'. Sorry to dis­ap­point you. There will be Portobella tracks on it, though — we're going to have 'Freaking In Stereo', possibly 'Covered In Punk', 'Y Bar', 'Viva La Difference'…

Have there been high-powered boardroom meetings about who your fans are supposed to be?
No, not yet. I look forward to that meeting. Perhaps I should arrange one myself and do a little present­a­tion — a bit of PowerPoint, maybe a laser pointer…

How would you describe your dis­tinct­ive vocal technique without using the word shouting?
I've got no idea how to describe it. Use 'shouting' if you want.

Are we right in assuming that your Portobella single 'Covered In Punk' was a slever and hilarious play on the word 'spunk'?
Actually, no it wasn't! But that is what everyone thinks. Here is the actual truth – when I wrote it my friend was in panto at this seedy, dirty, Harry Secombe-type theatre and for one par­tic­u­lar rock track he had to say 'oh look at us we're covered in rock' and I thought I'd use that and change it to punk. Then everyone assumed I was just singing about spunk.

We should probably point out that Harry Secombe is neither dirty or seedy.
I think so. Especially since he is now deceased.

In which case we can call him what we like. What are you going to be rein­carn­ated as?
I think I'd make a good man.

Is there such a thing?
There is. Harry Secombe for example.

Anything else you would like to mention before we wrap this up?
Kylie Kylie Kylie. We've done some tracks for her and hopefully they will get picked up.

How does having submitted some songs for the new Kylie album set you aside from anybody else who has ever hummed a tune or picked up an instrument?
Well, it was just nice to be asked. We sent our songs in a few weeks ago but we've had no feedback yet.

Do you feel there might be a slight sense of panic at Kylie HQ if they're still asking people to send them songs for the new album?

I don't think they've got 'the single' yet and that's why they are working with everyone and their mum.

Have you given her your best songs?
I hope so.

You'll be fucked off if she doesn't use them and then your album comes out without your best songs on it.
Oh, I have to go now, bye!

Thank you very much Luciana.