Where are you?
I'm currently in my room sat on my bed.
That's quite teenage.
It is quite teenage. I'm going to have to start tidying my room at some point.
What's under your bed?
There's a lipgloss that I dropped under there a couple of weeks ago that I haven't bothered to retrieve yet. And a rustic suitcase. It's for show and not for practical use.
'For show'? Do many people see under your bed?
Well it sort of pokes out. It's a nice object when someone walks in.
You could keep bodies in it.
Yeah maybe.
If you did accidentally kill someone in your bedroom and you wanted to dispose of their body how would you do it?
I would probably, using either tweezers or some kind of nail cutting apparatus, cut them into little pieces and hide them in various places in the room so that it would be hard to trace who it was.
Have you ever contemplated killing someone?
No. Although I was once cutting someone's hair and I got the scissors a little too close to their face although that wouldn't have resulted in death, just minor scarring.
Do you know what I think when I'm having my hair cut and they're getting the scissors out? I think, all it would take is for them to be cutting my hair and for someone walking across the room to trip and fall onto their elbow. And it would push their hand and the scissors would go right into my neck and kill me.
Or in your eye, that would be worse.
But you might live.
I think it would be worse to be blind.
You'd rather be dead than blind?!
I think so. (Laughs) That's probably not politically correct is it?
Are you saying that if you go blind you want someone to kill you?
Actually, I think I retract that statement because your other senses would become heightened. Perhaps I'd be like Stevie Wonder.
You could be a judge on the next series of The Voice and you wouldn't even need a spinning chair. It would save the BBC money because you'd just need a deckchair.
That would be great. I'd need a cushion though, as back support is very important.
What else would you like to discuss in this interview?
I'm open to suggestions. I was told to expect the unexpected.
How desperate are you to be famous?
I don't have a desperate need for it, but it's a by-product of what we do.
The desperation is a by-product of what you do?
No, being famous. I think every popstar has a bit of despair in their lives or you wouldn't be able to write about anything.
What despair is there on your current EP?
Everything! (Laughs) The usual heartaches of being an early-twenties female, not having luscious hair, having dry skin…
Right, you're not really selling yourself as a popstar here.
I think I should just take hair and skin vitamins and I'll be alright. The predominant message of the EP is betrayal, heartache, maybe feeling a bit lost.
Is there a King Of Hearts at the moment?
Not at the moment, no.
What was the last one like?
Foreign. That tends to be my general type. I like an accent. I find it charming.
How about a Welsh accent?
It's not my favourite, but it's endearing.
Is there an accent you're not a fan of?
I'm not a massive fan of the Brummie accent.
If you were to marry Jack White who would make dinner most frequently?
I think Jack White would.
What would he make?
I think he'd make something artistic, so either some homemade sushi or beef wellington. Something with skill. Maybe like a soufflé.
If you shared a house with Jack White, who would take the bins out?
I'd always take the bins out.
How reliable are you at taking the bins out?
If I know when the bin men are going to arrive then nine times out of ten I'll be fine. If I don't then there will probably be a pile of rubbish outside the door.
Do you separate your rubbish into the correct recycling bins?
I'm a dedicated recycler and I think it's important to save our planet. I'm also OCD so I have to make sure the clear bottles are as far away from the green bottles as possible otherwise in my head something terrible might happen.
What can you tell me about Swindon?
It has a magic roundabout, but it isn't all that magical. It's frightening. Maybe it's like magic mushrooms, maybe it's a similar experience to that.
Can you describe the experience of being on magic mushrooms?
I haven't personally tried them but from science lessons at school I imagine it's quite trippy and I imagine it's similar to driving around eight different roundabouts that are actually one roundabout, which is what the magic roundabout in Swindon is.
Are you half-Polish?
I am. Would you like me to tell you which half?
Yes.
My mum is Polish so it's down that line of DNA.
I thought you were going to say 'the top half'. That would have been the funny answer.
Oh, sorry. I have no sense of humour.
Your single's available on vinyl. Why would people buy the vinyl?
It's nice to hang up on the wall. Some people do have old record players because it's cool.
Is it cool or is it a bit try-hard?
Well I don't life in East London, so…
Where do you live?
I live in Chiswick. I like to wander around in a boho skirt and order a cappuccino of a Tuesday afternoon as opposed to a Snake Bite on a sticky floor somewhere, which is what you'd get in East London.
Let me put this to you: "I wrote a song about someone running into my car door refusing to admit it was their fault because they weren't insured and me having to put it through my own insurance". Is this something you said?
It is! That was a long time ago.
It's from a transcript of an interview I did with you many years ago.
I remember the pub we were in. I also remember the person who drove into my car. It's sad that the song didn't do anything. The song was wasted.
You saw S Club and the Spice Girls in concert. Who was best?
Obviously the Spice Girls.
Why 'obviously'?
I was given the ticket to the S Club one so I didn't really want to go, although I am a massive Rachel Stevens fan.
Are you a fan of the second Rachel Stevens album?
I'm a singles girl so I don't buy albums.
So would you understand if nobody bought your album?
(Laughs) I buy about two albums a year.
What were the last two albums your bought?
I bought Niki & The Dove and Lana Del Rey. Before that I bought the Hurts album, so that shows you how few I do buy.
What was the last single you bought?
The Foxes one, but that was free. Maybe Ruby Goe before that. I've had an iPhone fail recently so I can't look back at the history to see what I bought. It's been an upsetting time. Maybe it was Charli XCX actually. I've known her for ages, as long as I've known you. Since the dark days.
Let's talk about those days. You were in a girband.
I was.
Who were okay. It felt like there was potential that wasn't realised. In fact it felt like there was potential that wasn't realised in Queen Of Hearts until this latest release.
Yeah.
Like it wasn't really going anywhere, but now it is. But where is it going?
I was a teenager when I was in said girlband so I didn't really have any life experience. I've been round the block a bit now.
Like an old slapper.
No comment. It's easier to write once you've had some life experiences and this one's a bit more mature. I'm working with really cool people too.
Have you got any other good songs?
I've got a right banger that you'll enjoy. You might have heard it.
What's it called?
'Like A Drug'.
I have heard it. I don't think it's as good as the single.
Oh. Alright.
It's good but I don't think it's as good as 'Neon'.
I do respect your opinion.
What else have you got coming up?
I might be working with Vincent Turner, aka Frankmusik, out in LA.
Don't have sex with him. It would be unprofessional. He's a charming man.
I'm sure he is. Don't put me in a room with Enrique Iglesias, that would have terrible consequences.
Do you fancy Enrique?
He's very foreign and that's perfect for me.
Would he seduce you with a love song?
All he'd have to do is give me a smouldering look and it wouldn't take much more than that.
Is there a foreign person you would not like to have sex with?
No one springs to mind. I'm not really a fan of hairy men.
Amazing. Bye!
*
The 'Neon'/'Tears In The Rain' EP is out now.