Not wanting to leave matters of deep importance to the future of pop in our own flimsy hands, we asked Calvin to clarify things.
5 Reasons I Am Not Totally Shit
by Calvin Harris
1. "I made my album 'I Created Disco' using a computer called an 'Amiga'. Now, not everybody knows what one of these is — myself included — but what i can reveal is: a) it's nothing like an Atari, and b) it's the same colour as an Atari."
2. "I was once told by my music teacher that I was quite good, and stood a decent chance of success in the music industry and the very best of luck to me. HA! I certainly showed him! Egg on HIS face!"
3. "I was listening to my first single 'Acceptable In The 80s' (out March 12th) in my car the night I accidentally — I can't stress that enough — took out three rabbits and a fox on one relatively short stretch of road. Although I understand it would be big of me to take the blame for this, I just can't as it was totally their fault."
4. "I'm supporting Faithless in a couple of months on their arena tour, and I have a bet with my mum that if I say 'Hello Wembley!' in Nottingham, and vice versa, she will bake me my favourite cake (top secret) on a weekly basis and have it couriered to me wherever I am in the country, at entirely her expense. (UK only.)"
5. "I have an extremely anti-social cat."