Sorry to bang on about Girls Aloud but you know how it is, most important British pop band of the century and all that.
Anyway last night on Twitter, we made a rash statement: that 'Love Machine' is the worst Girls Aloud single that isn't a ballad. It seems the years we spent trying to forget 'I Think We're Alone Now' finally paid off, because we'd forgotten 'I Think We're Alone Now'. 'I Think We're Alone Now' is the worst Girls Aloud single that isn't a ballad. Naturally 'Walk This Way' is not up for discussion because it doesn't count.
But we also made a very true statement last night, which is that 'Call The Shots' is the best Girls Aloud song.
What about the stuff in between? Well, we're doing this now because we never did it during the band's living years and they're never going to get back together so we might as well set it in stone right now. We're not going to go #content crazy on this — it's not a multi-page gallery or a multimedia blowout. It is just a list. But it's an important list that must be made.
BEHOLD:
Girls Aloud singles ranked from most amazing to most shit
1. Call The Shots
2. Sound Of The Underground
3. Biology
[Miss You Bow Wow could have been in here if they'd done a single version]
4. Untouchable
5. No Good Advice
6. The Promise
7. Sexy! No No No…
8. Something New
9. Something Kinda Ooooh
10. The Show
11. Can't Speak French
12. Whole Lotta History
13. The Loving Kind
14. Wake Me Up
15. Long Hot Summer
16. Jump
17. Life Got Cold
18. Love Machine
19. I'll Stand By You
20. See The Day
21. I Think We're Alone Now
22. Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me
So that's the list. Let's never discuss it again. (Until we discuss it again.)
Here's 'Call The Shots'.
ALSO!!!
A man on Twitter called Andrew is currently doing a Girls Aloud ranking thing called #Aloudvision which we think inspired the list that in turn inspired our 'Love Machine' outburst. Andrew's thing involves a spreadsheet so it's proper science. He says he will keep going until he's dead which seems slightly unnecessary but send him your own list if you like.