Do you remember those heady days of 2014? The Rosetta mission saw the historic first landing on a comet, archaeologists found evidence that Stone Henge might once have formed a complete circle and, for a brief and exhilarating moment, Meghan Trainor looked like she might be one of pop's most very good new artists.
Well it all went a bit wrong didn't it.
At some point between an almost comically underwhelming debut album and the release of that song off the Peanuts movie, it all fell apart. That Puth-enabling 'Marvin Gaye' atrocity was the final straw. This seemed like classic two-and-a-bit-hit-wonder territory, to the point where a 2016 Brit nomination for International Female Solo Artist, and an actual 2016 Grammy win for Best New Artist, seemed like a huge cosmic joke. Meghan had led us all up the garden path then done a massive shit on it.
But life is all about second chances.
What are we, as people, if we cannot forgive? Is civilisation not built on the understanding that human error is one of the tenets of what it is to be human? How does it reflect on this thing we call society if we cannot permit a man, a woman, A MEGHAN TRAINOR, to move on from their mistakes?
Well these are the facts that spread out before us today:
Meghan's new single 'No' (which has leaked today ahead of its release, er, today) is really brilliant. We heard it for the first time a couple of weeks ago and have been thinking about it loads ever since. It starts off with a red herring intro that makes you think "oh bloody hell Traino not this doo wop bollocks again" then ends up sounding like back-in-the-day Britney meets prime-era Destiny's Child. Just think, if Meghan's sonic style keeps jumping ahead by 30 years with each album release, by 2018 Meghan's third album will sound like it's from 2025. That's got to be worth keeping her around for.She's called the single 'No' and she's called her album 'Thank You', which is also quite brilliant in a '#nothanks' kind of way.
HERE'S THE SONG:
And that's all it needs, really, isn't it?
For full-on pop redemption?
Unless you're a galaxy-sized bellend like Chris Brown, One Good Song is all it takes in this absurd but exciting world we call pop. For #nothanks to become #ohgoonthen, and for #ohgoonthen to become #yesplease.
Meghan, we forgive you. You are now free to go about your business.
UPDATE, MAY 9 2016: Sorry. Ignore all that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJL_CcasGSU