Here is the competent video for Paula Adbul's competent comeback single, 'Dance Like There's No Tomorrow'.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TN5umzSnFU
When we say 'competent single' we mean 'what a Timbaland and Keri Hilson track would sound like if it wasn't interesting' and by 'competent video' what we really mean is:
1991 IS ON THE PHONE AND IT WANTS ITS CHOREOGRAPHY, STYLING, SPECIAL EFFECTS AND VIDEO TREATMENT BACK.
LIMBS! Readers, you might not know what is happening here because Paula is such a choreographicological genius but this is not one person with many arms — it is actually a lot of dancers all lined up waving their arms around. Yes we know you will not have seen this revolutionary idea ever before but it's true! |
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SEAMEN! In this scene, and for literally no reason, the picture is encased in a picture frame with some sort of bizarre 'nautical' theme. |
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FLASH! This might be the best bit of the video — when the lyrics reference a camera and the video freezeframes with a white border for a split second, as if to reference a photograph. Do you see what they've done? To really push the point home the 'photograph' then falls from the screen! Amazing! Fingers crossed for a 'vertical wipe' effect sometime soon, eh? |
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PUSH! Another revolutionary dance move from the grand dame of pop choreography: sort of pushing your head while you bend over sideways. We like to call it the 'I've been waiting for this hip operation for three years'. |
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MUSO! You can see Randy from American Idol on the left here. He really 'gets into the music' in this video. 'Yes dog he's really feeling it etc.' This attempt at looking like a Kelly Clarkson video is like when a group of newsreaders form a 'band' on Children In Need and everyone is a bit embarassed and then Anna Ford turns up in a slightly whorish dress to show off what great 'legs' she's got and everyone goes 'blimey' and dies a little bit inside. Also worth watching out for here is the guy on the right hand side, styled to look like every single LA session musician who ever existed in 1991. Although to be fair every LA session musician in 2008 does actually look like every LA session musician in 1991. Perhaps they are the same people. Perhaps they are the next generation. We may never know. |
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WIND! This is so 1991 you half expect Luke Perry to wander on. |
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NO!!!? Is this really the end of the video or just something someone's chucked in on the YouTube clip? Does the video really end with a publicity shot of the American Idol host and judges? What the hell is going on? |
Absolute shit.