Say I'm in W1

This thing has just been announced.

We will tell you right now what we expect from this event, other than a sea of pink cowboy hats.

We expect this.

We don't expect something like that. We expect that. We expect Pete Waterman intro­du­cing Michaela Strachan. We don't care if Sybil comes out instead. We want Pete Waterman intro­du­cing Michaela Strachan anyway.

And we want to see him carry on as if he was right, as only Pete Waterman can.

We want him to introduce Yell!. Maybe Brother Beyond will come out at that point. Again, not important.

And we want Waterman in his sparkly suit.

We want the entire, however-many-hours-it-lasts event to take the form of a megamix.

We want tickets to be a quid with a packet of crisps and a fizzy drink thrown in.