In the best-news-ever news, blinking Bellefire boss Louis Walsh will appear as a guest judge on US X Factor.
Instead of finding someone — anyone — to stand in, a bronchitis-stricken Simon Cowell insisted that Louis take his spot at X Factor auditions in Kansas City today.
According to The Sun's source, Simon "greased the wheels with the US bosses" for the internationally-renowned impresario to take his spot, saying: "Louis was the man who knew more about the X Factor than any other judge."
Louis was apparently flown through the night in a private jet at the expense of £160,000, presumably bouncing on his chair all the way.