We're looking forward to some 'filmic frolics' on tonight's X Factor - don't forget to download your playsheet (below) and play along with us on Twitter at @popjustice.
Would this very emailed-around and YouTubed-about and retweeted clip become a hit?
Would Chris Moyles start hammering the track every morning on Radio One, or would it fall to Scott Mills to hammer it every afternoon?
Would it save the whales?
Would Lady Gaga acknowledge the song or refuse to dignify its existence at all?
If Gaga did acknowledge the song would she permit the lyric changes and, if she did, would "I don't give a crap about whales so go and hug a tree (I love it)" become a late entry for Popular Offensive Playground Diss of 2009?
Pet Shop Boys have just confirmed that there will be a five-track Christmas EP this year - it's called 'Christmas', title fans, and it's released on December 14.
Here's the tracklisting, and can we draw your attention to Track 4 in particular.
1. 'It Doesn't Often Snow At Christmas' - new version produced by Marius de Vries and Pet Shop Boys.
2. 'My Girl' - Madness cover, produced by Pet Shop Boys.
3. 'All Over The World' - new version, produced by Marius de Vries.
4. 'Viva La Vida' (AMAZING) / 'Domino Dancing' (AMAZING) medley (AMAZING) - studio production (AMAZING) by Stuart Price (AMAZING).
5. 'My Girl' (Our House mix) - produced by PSB.
This is the sleeve for the X Factor Finallists version of Michael Jackson's 'You Are Not Alone'. It's been done with computers, they're not all suspended on wires.
The good thing about this is that it's arranged so that each X Factor finalist is like the number on a clock.
"9pm? Time for me to do a stupid manipulative seriousface."
"It's half past Rachel, time for me to pretend it's 8 o'clock in a crass and ultimately humiliating attempt to win votes."
"2 o'clock! Time for Jamie to get a job!"
"You said you'd be home at Murs o'clock - it's a quarter past McElderry and you're pissed." "I'm sorry dear, I've been drinking since Miss Frank and I quite lost track of time."
This is quite big news if you're a fan of Rihanna and/or mobile handset manufacturers: the popular warbler will be coming to LONDON to perform a SPECIAL QUITE SMALL GIG on NOVEMBER 16 and it's SOMETHING TO DO WITH NOKIA.
The show is officially to launch her new album but let's face it it's also to flog mobile phones . It'll be beamed live across the internet and it will all be very exciting, a bit like when Madonna did that Brixton Academy show ages ago and everyone went "OMG OMG OMG OMG", except that was in the days before 'OMG' really existed. But it will be a bit like that.
WE'VE GOT SOME TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY
Nokia are giving us 20 tickets to distribute as we see fit. Please be aware that we might give some of these to friends because frankly you would wouldn't you but we'll definitely be giving away SEVEN PAIRS OF TICKETS to Popjustice readers.
To win: write a poem about Rihanna. We'd actually like to see some good poems here so we'll give you until Monday morning 9am UK to get your entries in. We might see if we can find a proper poet to pick the winners. If not we'll just pick the best ones ourselves or something. Send your entries to
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- make them poignant or funny or creative or whatever.
Incidentally, if you've ever wanted to hear Rihanna say "I'm Rihanna and this is my widget", you're in luck.
Is this new album the most widgetised pop release of 2009? We don't know.
Sorry about this readers but GOOD GOD have you seen this utter piece of rubbish? It is an officially sanctioned Beatles USB stick, announced yesterday. It's got Beatles songs on it and some other bits.
It costs about £200 and is limited to 30,000 units.
200!
30,000!!
This reminds us of the time we attempted to popularise the idea of muffin USB stick formats as a new way to sell music.
Except at least you could eat the muffin. And a muffin single would cost £2.29. This Beatles thing costs about two hundred pounds! Yes, we know they could put the Beatles back catalogue inside a baked potato then shove it up a cow's arse and you'd still shift 8,000 units but Christ alive, what are you supposed to do with a small plastic apple? Put it on your shelf? Oh yes that would be a good idea because it's not as if every single person who came round your house wouldn't see it and immediately recognise it for what it is: a miniature beacon of your massive stupidity. Yes put it on your shelf. It definitely won't be the first thing to be picked up and chucked out of the window by your wife when she's screaming at you about a divorce. Brilliant.
1. Lady Gaga
Who'd have thought the greatest popstar of the noughties would appear in the decade's final 18 months?
2. Donkeyboy
We wrote about Donkeyboy in July but their album came out (in Norway) a couple of weeks ago and is just brilliant. You can listen to clips on iTunes Norway ('Sometimes' is currently Number One and is tomorrow's Popjustice Song Of The Day), and 'Ambitions' is for sale on iTunes UK.
3. Hurts
You know about them already, we mentioned them in May. In the time since they've signed a big deal with a big label, recording a variety of soon-to-be-popular tunes, had some posh new photos taken etc etc. Expect to see them on a variety of Big For 2010 lists, along with...
4. Ellie Goulding
...who you are all intimately acquainted with thanks to the 'Ms Goulding's Vacuum' feature that has been stuck at the top of this website for somewhere in the region of a million years.
It's about an Estonian singer called Hannah. She seems like a nice enough woman. She's launching in the UK with a single later this month.
It's always interesting when internationally successful artists are launched like this in the UK. You find yourself bombarded claims like "SHE'S THE RUSSIAN MADONNA!" or "IT'S THE BELGIAN KYLIE!" (in this instance Hannah is apparently "EUROPE'S ANSWER TO LADY GAGA"), and you think to yourself "this will be quite good then", and then you listen to the song and it turns out to be alright in a 'pleasant enough when Texas released it' sort of way, and then there some 'Digital Dog' (or whoever) remixes that get played on Gaydar Radio, and then the money runs out and that's the end of that. 'The', as they say, 'end'.
Anyway, there are two problems with this newspaper. Firstly, we received this over a week ago and the second issue has yet to materiaiise, meaning that this is NOT a daily publication at all but instead has a very distinct whiff of something treated as a ONE OFF. Then there is the great bit about Hannah's London.
Here's what she has to say about one particular area of London. "The people and the ambience are so down to earth and real and there's a real sense of style and fun about it." Guess the area. Remember the key points: down to earth, realness, a sense of fun. Go on. Have a guess. That's right, Hannah is talking about SHOREDITCH.
Would this very emailed-around and YouTubed-about and retweeted clip become a hit?
Pet Shop Boys have just confirmed that there will be a five-track Christmas EP this year - it's called 'Christmas', title fans, and it's released on December 14. 
